Pix that make you smile.

Some of the more misunderstood ones..

You're not thinking dirty are you?

You're bad!!

It's just the saddle, ok!!!

More funny pix

Images describe a thousand words or so, they say. Well, I just felt sharing is caring. These set of images were definitely not taken by me, it was forwarded to me via email. I hope it pleases you as it did to me.

What should I do to marry a rich guy? Not!

I don't know if this is true or not, but its kinda funny how the response is made

Amazing reply by J.P. Morgan CEO to a Pretty girl

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing'

services, do contact me....

Signed,

CEO

J.P. Morgan

Disclaimer: This is merely a reproduction of an article and is not the view of the owner of this blog.

Chong Shan Learns "Sejarah Hari Ini"

This was in my inbox today. Its hilarious the way the author (Anon) presents the authority of history. Kids have good memory, remember?

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History to be made compulsory pass subject soon.

It was the first day of a school in Kulai, Johor and a new Chinese student named Chong Shan entered Standard four.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some Malaysian History.

Who said, 'Merdeka, Merdeka" ?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chong Shan who had his hand up: 'Tengku Abdul Rahman, 31 August 1957' he said.

'Very good!

Who said 'China’s authoritarian rule is more effective than the ‘democracy’ practiced in Malaysia ?''

Again, no response except from Chong Shan.

'Mamakkutty from Kerala, 2010' he said.

The teacher snapped at the class,

'Boys, you should be ashamed.

Chong Shan, who is a pendatang to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper:

'@#$** the Chinese.'

'Who said that?' she demanded.

Chong Shan put his hand up.

'Perkasa Chief, Ibrahim Ali.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Yeah, I am Malay first, Malaysian second!'

Chong Shan jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Muhideen Mohd Yassin, 2010'.

At that point, a student in the back said, 'Correct, correct, correct!'

The teacher glares around and asks

'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chong Shan says,

'Lawyer VK Lingam in a telephone conversation brokering the appointment of top judges with the former Chief Justice.'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'I am not ashamed to admit that I cannot compete with the Chinese and Indian students.'

Chong Shan frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Mamakkutty from Kerala in Medical College.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

And Chong Shan said quietly, 'I think it was Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan, 2008'.

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Disclaimer: This article does not represent the views of the owner of this blog. Its a reproduction of an email, that is not condoned.

Bo$$ Alway$ KNOw$ Be$t

I got this in my mailbox and found it funny, laugh a little, not a lot.

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ . worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

The next day,

Dear Marian
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

Manager

An Irish Friendship Wish

May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

The Android Experience

A friend from Twitter asked me how many stars I would give to Android over 10. I couldn't give an answer in a jiffy. Should I give 10? Should I give 9?

This is my personal opinion, I'm not gonna do a full blown review of the OS but its gonna be my experience as a user.

I use the HTC Desire, it ran on Android 2.1 initially, and I upgraded to 2.2 not long ago when HTC released it. Prior to that, I've had friends whom own the Moto Milestone XT720, HTC Legend, Nexus One, Sony Experia X10 and HTC Wildfire. In addition to the Android based phones, I've also fiddled with the iPhone 3GS and iPhone 4 as well as the Symbian system. My experience with these smartphones gave me some insights on how the answer the question:

To me the iPhone is the most tightly integrated device. This integration has allowed the hardware and software to perform seamlessly. Yes, we can go and nitpick on JailBreaking, Death Grip and its full dependance on iTunes, but we are not going there because for me, each OS has its own way of 'evolving'.

The Android is at the evolving stage it. It is Stable. BUT.... It's very dependent on the hardware you're running. For example, some applications are not available for the Wildfire but are available for the Desire (1 gripe). The Android 2.2 for me is speedier compared to 2.1 but I've yet to concur on the power saving claims. I've

I'm on either WiFi or Data connection 90% of the time, thus, I need to recharge the battery some time in the middle of the day. I don't need rooting as I'm not a power user yet.

Another thing that users still need to understand is that Android is running underneath and manufacturers' run their own 'skin' on top i.e. Sense UI, and so far I've seen some laggy ones and some speedy ones. Of course, if you dabble further in, you could actually even customise your ROM.

So, for my Desire, I'm gonna give it an 8/10. Hopefully I'll be getting OS update OTA soon to address power consumption (which usually can be blamed on the large LCD screen).

How to sell

Wow! Its been quite some time since I last posted anything here. However, today was an interesting day. Not because of the announcement regarding the price adjustment to sugar, LPG and petrol (which in a way is comically connected to my JOTD), my loving uncle sent me 2 emails which was just too good to not be shared.

#1 - How to sell -

HOW TO SELL TOOTH BRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!". Then I would say, "It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth."

P.S. Does that ring a bell?!!!

I just sat and smiled; jokes aside; I was imagining the reality of a sales transaction. The marketers job of creating the 'Want' over a 'Need' and how in this instance; that 'Want' led to the 'Need'. All I need to do is create a sense of either (a) dissatisfaction with what you already have or (b) feed your curiosity with mumbo jumbo. Cheers.

#2 -