How to sell

Wow! Its been quite some time since I last posted anything here. However, today was an interesting day. Not because of the announcement regarding the price adjustment to sugar, LPG and petrol (which in a way is comically connected to my JOTD), my loving uncle sent me 2 emails which was just too good to not be shared.

#1 - How to sell -

HOW TO SELL TOOTH BRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!". Then I would say, "It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth."

P.S. Does that ring a bell?!!!

I just sat and smiled; jokes aside; I was imagining the reality of a sales transaction. The marketers job of creating the 'Want' over a 'Need' and how in this instance; that 'Want' led to the 'Need'. All I need to do is create a sense of either (a) dissatisfaction with what you already have or (b) feed your curiosity with mumbo jumbo. Cheers.

#2 -

How to dance in the rain.

I got this today in my mailbox and since the mood for love is still in the air, I might as well share this with all of you.

I'd have to thank my uncle for forwarding this tho.

 

 

 

'I was a busy morning about 8.30 when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry because of another appointment at 9.00am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided since I was not busy with any other patient I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife. I enquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised and asked him "And you still go every morning even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said "She doesn't know me, … But I still know who she is."

I had to roll back tears …'

… and you get the rest of the story

 

I always see this in movies, I wonder if it happens in real life…

Good Night Honey

Husband: Oh! Come on!

Wife: Leave me alone!!!!

Husband: It won't take long…

Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards…

Husband: I can't sleep without it…

Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Husband: Because I'm hot!

Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times…

Husband: If you love me, I wouldn't have to beg you…

Wife: If you love me, you'd be more considerate…

Husband: You don't love me anymore!

Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Husband: Please, come on!

Wife: Alright, I'll do it…

Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Wife: I can't find it!

Husband: Oh! For heaven's sake, feel for it!

Wife: There! Are you satisfied?

Husband: Oh yes!

Wife: Is it up far enough?

Husband: Oh, that's good!

Wife: Now, go to sleep and from now on

WHEN YOU WANT THE WINDOW OPEN, DO IT YOURSELF!

 

Hehehehehhehehehehehhehe

p/s: This is purely meant to be a joke and not meant to be offensive.

ANCIENT WRITINGS FOUND IN CAVE

Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old! The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings. The President of the society pointed to the first drawing and said:

"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.

The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,

"Idiots...

Hebrew is read from right to left... It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick"

p/s: This is purely meant as a joke an in no way meant to be offensive.

Never laugh at at a Chinese man

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire.
What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?
The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'

p/s: this is purely meant as a joke and never meant to be offensive.

Old Man Syndrome

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki

Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him:

"We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you

might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

The first student said, "I think its Peltry Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought....... But you are wrong."

The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought....... But you are wrong."

So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

The old man said, "I thought it was a Fart........ .............. But I was wrong, too!"

p/s: This is purely meant as a joke and never meant to be offensive.

Hiking @ Bukit Tabur, Ulu Kelang

So, after a hiatus (actually more of having good kaki's around and a good enough reason to partake) of about 15 years or so, I was going to climb/hike/panjat/mendaki/naik a hill (bukit). About a month or so back, a close friend of mind posted a picture of this place. It was serene and I was looking to get some fresh air into my lungs as well (what with the current haze around KL). So Aizi had called me to go for this hike for the last weekend, which unfortunately I could not attend. So, he called me again this week. I had another plan cancelled and looked like a good opportunity to get some sweat rolling and take some pictures.

As soon as I arrived, I was excited (man, I am big, but I had always thought I was thin/yeah I know). Despite the disillusioned imagery of me, we started the climb. It was a tough first section with, with some technical midsections (I thought it was hill climbing, not rock-climbing, okay!). Finally, after about 2 hours of hiking, I just could not continue, (not with vertigo, a weak left leg and a less than average balance). So, thankfully my buddy, Aizi, understood and accompanied me back down.

I must say that even upon reaching back to our car, and after the numerous curses and truckloads of sweat, I am considering another trip there, albeit not anytime soon. Bukit Tabur, one day I shall conquer thou! As for Aizi, Am, Hanif, Ikram and Akram, you guys were great and thanks for the opportunity.

Some of the pics that I managed to capture.

#1

#2

Both these 2 pictures were either taken @ Checkpoint 2 or Checkpoint 3. For more pictures, please drop by http://www.flickr.com/photos/aic_76