Thursday, November 24, 2011

Change your thinking

My good uncle Feroz passed this reminder via email today. It was touching.

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.. 

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation...

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene..

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

6 Principles in life

1) No point using limited life to chase unlimited money.
2) No point earning so much money you cannot live to spend it.
3) Money is not yours until you spend it.
4) When you are young you use health to chase your wealth. When you are older you use your wealth to buy back your health. The difference is that it may be to late.
5) How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs.
6) No point working so hard to provide for the people you have no time to spend with.


Monday, October 17, 2011

Manic Screaming

We should make all spiritual talk
Simple today:

God is trying to sell you something,
But you don't want to buy.

That is what your suffering is:

Your fantastic haggling,
Your manic screaming over the price!

Hafiz


What interests me in this piece by Hafiz is how brutally honest it presents the reality in how hypocritical we address the issue of faith. Yes, we claim that faith should be between self and God, yet some still create this delusion of pushing some of the ideas of faith while shoving some other ideas as non relevant. In claiming ownership of God, it would seem that God Himself is not important. It doesn't matter if what God says is important as long as some are comforted that God is on their side, its enough to break some rules.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The 7 Letter Word

Can you figure what it is?

1. The word has seven letters....
2. It preceded God...
3. It is greater than God...
4. It is more evil than the devil...
5. All poor people have it...
6. Wealthy people need it....
7. If you eat it, you will die.

This should have been circulating in the net for some time.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Relationship Jokes

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.
"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!

The are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage.

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.

Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet.
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.

Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women?
Because When They Arrive, They're wet and wild, But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car...

A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.
"The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife."

Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to Tackle Wife?
Google Search Result, "Still Searching`.

A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?"
"Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"

Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife’s Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target...
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: “Honey What Are You Doing...Husband: “MISSING YOU”...

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?" The Man Said "Yes" The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison’

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.........
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to and touched often.
But push the wrong button and you're disconnected......

Difference Between Complete & Finish...
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH.
But there is...
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!

Romantic SMS
She sends the following message:

My love if you're sleeping, send me your dreams If you're smiling, send me your smile If you're crying, send me your tears... I love you
He Replied: I'm in the toilet. What do I send?

Disclaimer: Sources of jokes are unknown, if you know where it came from, do inform me and I'll attribute it accordingly.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

That sinking feeling

People say.. its one of the awkwardness in life when a song can be played in a loop for hours ...

I was listening to Travis - Love will come through...
————————————————
If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and
Keep it alive

Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone
In this life

So look up, take it away
Don't look da-da-da-down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

And you stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I've got a feeling
It's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no make believing
The sound of the wings
Of the flight

Of a dove, take it away
Don't look da-da-da-down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

Oh, look up, take it away
Don't look da-da-da-down

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

Love will come through
Love will come through
Love will come through

————————————————

This is beautiful. Maybe I'd just do a video montage of it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Pix that make you smile.

Some of the more misunderstood ones..

You're not thinking dirty are you?

You're bad!!





It's just the saddle, ok!!!


More funny pix


Images describe a thousand words or so, they say. Well, I just felt sharing is caring. These set of images were definitely not taken by me, it was forwarded to me via email. I hope it pleases you as it did to me.


Sunday, March 6, 2011

What should I do to marry a rich guy? Not!

I don't know if this is true or not, but its kinda funny how the response is made

Amazing reply by J.P. Morgan CEO to a Pretty girl
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing'
services, do contact me....

Signed,

CEO
J.P. Morgan

Disclaimer: This is merely a reproduction of an article and is not the view of the owner of this blog.

Chong Shan Learns "Sejarah Hari Ini"

This was in my inbox today. Its hilarious the way the author (Anon) presents the authority of history. Kids have good memory, remember?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
History to be made compulsory pass subject soon.

It was the first day of a school in Kulai, Johor and a new Chinese student named Chong Shan entered Standard four.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some Malaysian History.

Who said, 'Merdeka, Merdeka" ?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chong Shan who had his hand up: 'Tengku Abdul Rahman, 31 August 1957' he said.

'Very good!

Who said 'China’s authoritarian rule is more effective than the ‘democracy’ practiced in Malaysia ?''

Again, no response except from Chong Shan.
'Mamakkutty from Kerala, 2010' he said.

The teacher snapped at the class,
'Boys, you should be ashamed.
Chong Shan, who is a pendatang to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper:
'@#$** the Chinese.'

'Who said that?' she demanded.
Chong Shan put his hand up.
'Perkasa Chief, Ibrahim Ali.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Yeah, I am Malay first, Malaysian second!'

Chong Shan jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Muhideen Mohd Yassin, 2010'.

At that point, a student in the back said, 'Correct, correct, correct!'

The teacher glares around and asks
'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chong Shan says,
'Lawyer VK Lingam in a telephone conversation brokering the appointment of top judges with the former Chief Justice.'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'I am not ashamed to admit that I cannot compete with the Chinese and Indian students.'

Chong Shan frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Mamakkutty from Kerala in Medical College.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

And Chong Shan said quietly, 'I think it was Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan, 2008'.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: This article does not represent the views of the owner of this blog. Its a reproduction of an email, that is not condoned.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bo$$ Alway$ KNOw$ Be$t

I got this in my mailbox and found it funny, laugh a little, not a lot.

Dear Bo$$
In thi
$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ . worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am
$ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your
$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

The next day,


Dear Marian

I k
NOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have
NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

Manager